Interpersonal Exercise #10: Relationships, Part 2
Read DeVito’s Units 8 & 9 “Relationships” (pages 170-212).
What do you look for in a romantic relationship? Why are these characteristics important to you?
I look for someone who is my other half. Someone who compliments me. Compliments me in a way when people look at us they know we are happy together and they wish they could love someone like we love each other. I look for someone who does not like to argue, someone who likes to be happy, and someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. These characterisics are important to me because of my past relationships provided me a way to to see what I needed as a human being. With all this being said, I think I look for a for someone who is either a storge or and eros.
What kind of lover do you consider yourself? (Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, Agape)
Intially, I thought I was going to be Agape but, then I took the "Test Yourself" on page 198. This stated I was more like a Eros lover. And, after anaylizing the results I can see why. Before the test, I thought I was an agape lover because my mom always tells me I wear my heart on a sleeve. However this is true, on the test I found myself awnsering with one false and that was to the statement, "When my lover gets angry with me, I still love him or her fully and unconditionally." This statement is false for me because when the person I love gets angry at me intially I feel bad but, when i find them acting imature about a situation and just being angry insted of solving the problem, I lose patience for them. It normally results in me breaking up with him. For all the questions for an eros lover I ansered true. This is because I beileve that every person has someone who is ment for them. Someone that they cannot live without once they ment him or her. They understand each other completely and work hard to keep one another.
What do you look for in a friendship? What kind of a friend do you consider yourself?
I look for someone who can make me laugh and will always be there no matter what. According to the book this would mean I look for someone who provides utility (skill of making me laugh), and security. I am the friend that everyone confides in when they are down to cheer them up. I am always there for people when they need me. I find it to be a gift. My friends mom died rescently and I was the first person he came to. Within hours of hugging him and encouraging him that I was there for him, I got him to not only smile but, laugh a little. I think it is a gift. With that being said the book would characterize me as the ego support.
Give an example in your life of each of the types of friendships. (Reciprocity, Receptivity, Association)
Reciprocity: An example in my life of reciprocity, is my bestfriend Cody. We are completely loyal to each other. We both care just the same for each other. When I was ill in the hospital he came to visit me. He was my only friend who was there for me. He came to my house every day when I was ill just to check on me and keep me company while i was practically locked up in the house with mono. If that's not dedication to a friend I do not know what is. If Cody ever got ill I would be there for him too. I know if I ever need him I can call him, and whenever he needs me, he calls me.
Receptivity: An example in my life of receptivity friendship, is my parents and I. There is an imbalance between us. My parents give and provide for me so I can grow as a person successfully. However the imbalance, it works in this situation because we are both satisfied. My parents get the satisfaction of seeing their kid grow up right and I get the satisfaction of growing up.
Association: An example in my life of association friendship are the kids I graduated with. While we pass each other durring christmas breaks back from college we exchange hello's and sometimes ask how one another are doing. But, we never go deeper in communication.
What do you look for in a romantic relationship? Why are these characteristics important to you?
I look for someone who is my other half. Someone who compliments me. Compliments me in a way when people look at us they know we are happy together and they wish they could love someone like we love each other. I look for someone who does not like to argue, someone who likes to be happy, and someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. These characterisics are important to me because of my past relationships provided me a way to to see what I needed as a human being. With all this being said, I think I look for a for someone who is either a storge or and eros.
What kind of lover do you consider yourself? (Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, Agape)
Intially, I thought I was going to be Agape but, then I took the "Test Yourself" on page 198. This stated I was more like a Eros lover. And, after anaylizing the results I can see why. Before the test, I thought I was an agape lover because my mom always tells me I wear my heart on a sleeve. However this is true, on the test I found myself awnsering with one false and that was to the statement, "When my lover gets angry with me, I still love him or her fully and unconditionally." This statement is false for me because when the person I love gets angry at me intially I feel bad but, when i find them acting imature about a situation and just being angry insted of solving the problem, I lose patience for them. It normally results in me breaking up with him. For all the questions for an eros lover I ansered true. This is because I beileve that every person has someone who is ment for them. Someone that they cannot live without once they ment him or her. They understand each other completely and work hard to keep one another.
What do you look for in a friendship? What kind of a friend do you consider yourself?
I look for someone who can make me laugh and will always be there no matter what. According to the book this would mean I look for someone who provides utility (skill of making me laugh), and security. I am the friend that everyone confides in when they are down to cheer them up. I am always there for people when they need me. I find it to be a gift. My friends mom died rescently and I was the first person he came to. Within hours of hugging him and encouraging him that I was there for him, I got him to not only smile but, laugh a little. I think it is a gift. With that being said the book would characterize me as the ego support.
Give an example in your life of each of the types of friendships. (Reciprocity, Receptivity, Association)
Reciprocity: An example in my life of reciprocity, is my bestfriend Cody. We are completely loyal to each other. We both care just the same for each other. When I was ill in the hospital he came to visit me. He was my only friend who was there for me. He came to my house every day when I was ill just to check on me and keep me company while i was practically locked up in the house with mono. If that's not dedication to a friend I do not know what is. If Cody ever got ill I would be there for him too. I know if I ever need him I can call him, and whenever he needs me, he calls me.
Receptivity: An example in my life of receptivity friendship, is my parents and I. There is an imbalance between us. My parents give and provide for me so I can grow as a person successfully. However the imbalance, it works in this situation because we are both satisfied. My parents get the satisfaction of seeing their kid grow up right and I get the satisfaction of growing up.
Association: An example in my life of association friendship are the kids I graduated with. While we pass each other durring christmas breaks back from college we exchange hello's and sometimes ask how one another are doing. But, we never go deeper in communication.
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